The Four Archetypes of Masculinity Part 1:
The Lover Archetype.
The Lover in His Fullness
The Lover is the archetype of emotion, feeling, idealism, and sensuality. Being sensual means opening up and using all of your senses in all areas of your life experiencing as many dimensions of life as possible, as often as possible.
Thus, when a man taps into the Lover archetype’s energy, he feels alive with vim and vigor and connected to the world and those around him. A man in touch with the Lover archetype feels deeply, whether those feelings are of joy or pain.
When we get those flashes of inspiration or sparks of creativity, that’s Lover energy manifesting itself in our lives. A man who takes time to develop this archetype will experience those hunches, insights, and premonitions more frequently than men who don’t.
Because the Lover is so alive and sensual, he enjoys all of life’s wholesome pleasures, whether it be good food and drink, beautiful art, or gorgeous women. This is the archetype that spurs our appetites.
But these hungers aren’t just for mere pleasures like sex and food, but for a life of meaning and purpose. And in seeking the freedom to passionately pursue these ends, the Lover can see limits and rules as constraining.
The Lover archetype has a unique relationship to the other three archetypes of mature masculinity. While the Lover’s energy seeks to be boundless, the King, Warrior, and Magician archetypes provide a man with structure and discipline.
Thus the Lover’s passion fuels and powers these three life forces, and in turn, they channel and harness the Lover’s energy in a healthy way and towards worthy goals.
The Lover archetype is usually the first that develops in a man. Look at most young men and you see that they’re often ruled by the passionate Lover archetype. They’re looking for new and exciting endeavors - they’re filled with youthful idealism. Their experiences are marked by an acute intensity.
The Shadows
The Addicted Lover
If the other archetypes do not harness the Lover’s energy, the Addicted Lover shadow can result.
A man possessed by the Addicted Lover is eternally restless. He’s forever searching for that one thing, person, or experience that will make him feel truly alive.
But whether it’s because he has overinflated expectations, or because he doesn’t even know what he’s searching for in the first place, the vague hunger that endlessly hounds him is never satisfied.
The Addicted Lover falls in love with every girl he dates, and then wallows in despair when she dumps him.
He’s constantly getting ideas for inventions or businesses that will make him rich, but he never works at them long enough to get them off the ground.
His apartment is cluttered with junk he bought on a whim and never used.
His passport is filled with stamps, but he doesn’t feel any happier than we he left home to travel the world.
The Addicted Lover is a collector–of experiences, possessions, or women. But without any structure, any overarching life philosophy to connect the things he collects, his life feels fragmentary instead of whole. Without a channel through which to run, the Lover’s energy dissipates into a million directions.
The Impotent Lover
The Impotent Lover shadow arises when a man is out of touch with the Lover archetype in its fullness.
While the Lover in his fullness sees the world in vivid colors and textures, the Impotent Lover only sees gray.
Men dogged by the Impotent Lover archetype feel depressed, flat, and dead inside. Nothing brings them joy anymore. They’ve lost their passion for life. Relationships, whether romantic or platonic, struggle and falter for the man possessed by the Impotent Lover.
While the Addicted Lover does not give himself enough structure, the Impotent Lover can arise in a man who disciplines himself too much.
Accessing the Lover Archetype
Accessing the Lover archetype is vital to our success as men. But how do we do it?
The easiest way to tap into the Lover archetype is to take more time to really enjoy the stuff that brings you meaning in life.
Another way to access the Lover is to take part in a hobby you’re passionate about, particularly ones that involves artistic skills or craftsmanship. Make it a priority in your schedule to spend time on that hobby. It doesn’t matter how silly it is. As long as it gives you joy, and offers you a creative outlet, do it.
A man seeking access to the Lover archetype should also make reading a lifelong habit. Immerse yourself in literature and writings on a variety of subjects to stimulate your brain and provide it with something to ponder other than whether to have a ham or turkey sandwich for lunch. Seeking knowledge will spur the Lover’s capacity for imagination and inspiration.
Spend time outdoors–hiking and camping. Nature helps you get in touch with the mysterious forces of life. And of course you can access the Lover archetype by taking time for romance.
Thanks for reading so far, this is a sneak peek of my coming e-book “Navigating The Geography of Manliness” watch out for it.
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